Letter to you...

there's another lung...
another hole inside of me
as far as I wanted to keep it all away
as much as I wanted to denied it....
I can't

how come you get close to me, when he was there somewhere
how come you always accompany me, when I needed someone
how come I have to know your history first, then I can come to know you personally?

how come?
how come?
how come I have a heart for you, how come I love you even though I always told my self that I scared of you?

how come you melted my heart, with your kiss
how come you hugged me, when I was so comfort to be your friend?
and how come your friend can't make me cry, just like you made me when I leave your place?

how come?
how come?
how come I fell in love into another faul figure... but I desperately in love with

how come you become so dearly beauty in front of me?

I hate it when I can't see things with your friend faster than i could possibly can
I hate it when I actually can be with him, and don't have to be with you within those 5 days
I hate it when things happen
I hate it when I always eat my own words...

I hate it
I hate it when I become so weak

I hate it
I hate it when I have to be in love with you...
I hate it that you successfully took my heart

I hate it within every morning or every night I always picture our memories together
I hate it to spend time by time with you
I hate it that you broke my wall so easily
those wall that protect me from falling in love with you
I hate it that I always assume everything in a serious way
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it that I scared so much
it scared the hell out of me to fall in love with you

to fall in love with your crazy attitude, when at first I found it bazzar
to fall in love with your passion in movies, to fall in love with your laugh
to fall in love with your personality, because you gave me comfort when I'm afraid that I can't found one...
to fall in love with your kiss, your sweet attitude to me
to fall in love with our awkward conversation
to fall in love with our path
to fall in love with your brown eyes
to fall in love with your enormous hands
to fall in love with your spoiled attitude
to fall in love with your childish attitude in front of me

I'm scared...
it scared the hell out of me to fall in love with you
when I know you don't have a feelings for me
it scared me that it'll be another heart broken again
it scared me that the same old stupid things will happen to me again
it scared me to be so STUPID again
to be that stupid old girl who being so naive in love and willing to do everything for you
no....
NO!!!!!!!
NO!
not anymore!

I'm scared...
so scared...

it makes me cry, every night the image of you always makes me cry

I hate it...
I hate it...
I hate our facts
I hate our times and space
I hate everything about us!
I hate everything, because all I know all of that just another fantasy of me!
I hate it because I know you wasn't made for real...
though you capture the most tremendous heart of mine
I hate it that you will hurt me
I hate it to be hurt again...
I hate that....
I hate it that you make me in love so much... so damn much...

how it hurt so bad...
I wish and I hope the opposite direction
I wish I could love
I wish I could have a guts to be in love

tho' deep down
I wish for it all...
tho' facts always hurt me the most
I wish for you...
I'm hoping for you...
I love you...


Take care


Lingkan Bella