cebu day

...Tiba2 dr kmrn si tikus kayak nyuekin n nghindarin gw... (_--)

Am I such a bad girl in his eyes? Geezzz
As I said I'm trough with love whilst in fact, deep down the heart still follow.

I know I did smoke yesterday, the first time...and its unthoughtful of me. I was careless and all. But now... Now I even got myself more careless... With love.
I'm afraid what happen to me will be like S and K. They've been best friend and then she has a feeling for him. Gosh... I don't know, I said that I'm trough with love. Not curse me, but I was driven by my foolish ego. As the begining of it, I said that I'm trough with all. Tikus then came along with his words, but he stayed and as a mate. My mate. That's why I always treasure him, I kept on contact but as a mate. Though I know that sometimes can't lie that my heart pumps everytime I got a message from him. But still... After I got here, I even told myself even more that we are just MATE. As usuall we talk, we chat, we hang out together in long period of time, but that's it. Then people start talking and wishpering I mean what is up with that?! We are mate... Yes we are. We are a good mate.

Some of the time since my first visit here. The way he speaks he tells story about something... Its always pointed on someone. I know right, I'm being ms.know-it-all while in fact I don't know shit whether I was right or not. He's just telling about this girl, who had been close with him yada yada yada blablablabla... And it felts like its me. Then I move backwards because he want to took a break from relationship, that's why I took wwwaaaayyyy step back. We just mate. Gosh...don't know why I hate this thing... Love things. I've ruin everything. Guess he's not for me.

Do you know today he just like walk passed me, and just greet me.and that's all...???!!! And I was like--what??-what did I do?! Did I do something bad??? Smoking?? Clubbing? Sleeping with langit? Get close with him? What? What? Say something?! I know he notice something about me... I know he really is nice. But I think its just for a friend.

Was it too fast? My feeling for him...so selfish me. Then people starting to poke me about him. And then the whole thing started again. I was lost... Completely and utterly lost. *sigh I shouldn't have done this in the first place, so maybe I just stay quite a moment. Just for a while. If he act the same then we know the reason it